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We agreed to some important fundamentals: Mitch would be the child’s only father, and Chris would have neither financial obligations nor input in parental decisions, but he would be a part of the child’s life, including, but not limited to, the very important first trip to Disney World.

Our plan consisted of do-it-yourself style inseminations at home.

While the laws for known donors are inconsistent, generally known donors retain all of the legal rights and obligations of any genetic father unless those rights are legally terminated.

One way people attempt to counter this is by utilizing a donor contract where the donor purportedly signs away all rights to whatever child comes from his sperm.

Chris and I had met 10 years earlier in Texas, before either of us had met our respective husbands, and had bandied around the idea of him helping me get pregnant when the time was right, joking about the beautiful, smart, ginger baby we’d make. On principal, Mitch loved the idea of a known donor, but it wasn’t without emotional land mines.This entailed Chris depositing his semen into a glass and handing it off to Mitch, who would then insert it into my body with a small glass syringe.We repeated this process several times over the course of four days.If you’re a married heterosexual couple, where the woman is carrying, the husband instantly becomes a legal parent.If you’re a lesbian couple, and your state allows it, the non-genetic parent needs to do a second parent adoption to have any rights, but the donor still has none.

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